Knowing Your Limits

T.S. Elliot once said “If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” I was trying to find a way to open up this post and wrap my head around what I wanted to say, and that quote just popped out at me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should bury yourself in whatever struggles you have until you drown, nor am I saying that if you aren’t struggling you’re doing something wrong. But I do think that sometimes pushing yourself to the limit is appropriate. I think also IDENTIFYING your limit is important. Being in over your head doesn’t have to be a bad thing because then you have that information and data saying “this is how far I can go and that’s ok.”

I feel like I’m rambling and not making much sense so I’ll throw in my story that I wanted to talk about. My boyfriend and I were going on a date that we had been wanting to plan for a while. Things had been crazy busy for a long time and I was wanting something romantic and something for just the two of us. So we were doing a simple dinner and mini golf. I thought it would be a good idea to go to dinner at this Italian restaurant that I had loved when I was a little kid but that I had prohibited me to frequent for a long time. I have really been pushing myself hard with my meal plan recently, have gained a little weight, and have really been struggling to sit still with those feelings of discomfort, but I thought I could handle it.

We got into the restaurant and were waiting to be seated and I began to panic. I wasn’t feeling good at all about what was about to go down, was afraid of the menu, and just wanted to leave. Conversation was filled with my high anxiety filled energy and nervous/half manic laughter. I joked about how I just wanted to run out of the restaurant, but forced myself to stay, telling myself that this was what I wanted and we had planned the whole thing and by god I wasn’t going to ruin this date with my shit.

The waiter seated us and we began to look through the menus. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I scanned the menu and found NOTHING that I felt like I could eat. Maybe I could’ve on a good day, but that day I felt so utterly overwhelmed and ginormous and all of my normal go-to options didn’t seem to be there. I don’t know how long I sat there, eyes glued to the menu, choking back tears and panic, but it felt like half an hour (we were probably only seated a few minutes as the waiter hadn’t even brought us our waters yet). I couldn’t breathe, looked up at my boyfriend as the tears began to stream from my eyes and tried to speak. I don’t know if I actually made any noise or not, but my mouth said “we need to leave”. He looked confused for a second, then realized what was happening as I stood up and began to run out. His arms around my waist, and my face buried in his arm we rushed out, leaving confused waiters who were just bringing our waters and coming to get our orders. I was in full blown melt down mode and gulped in the fresh outside air in the parking lot. (By the way, shout-out to my amazing boyfriend who was there with me the whole time, and joked that he wanted to leave too because there were too many vegetables on the menu anyway. Thanks for making me laugh!)

Now it’s tempting to look at this as a failure. I went in with a plan and was unable to execute. I couldn’t hold it together in a restaurant and had to abort mission. But this experience actually gave me some very valuable information!

1. We all have a limit that no amount of willpower or grit will let us push past, and that’s ok! Willpower is not a strategy, growth is a strategy! The day will come when I can try that restaurant again and I will have grown enough to manage it.
2. You are so much stronger with your support than you’ll ever be alone. I was an absolute mess, but with my boyfriend helping calm me down and get me laughing, I pulled it together and we went and played our mini golf. I even beat him by one hit! Then (albeit with a great deal of persuasive effort on his part) he coaxed me into eating a “safe” dinner afterwards.
3. Knowing “how tall you are” and what you can manage is so important! If you simply exist in over your head, you’ll never get anything done. You’ll just be overwhelmed and panic all the time. If you know where your limit is and can operate under it, you know when to push yourself and when to back off.

And as always, and you guys know I feel this way because I’ve said it a thousand times, grace and compassion win the race.

5 Truths I’ve Learned In My Short Time In The Fitness Industry

Good afternoon my beautiful blog family! Today I want to talk about a topic that has been on my heart for a while now and that I think some of you may be interested in. I have been working at a gym for over a week now (I know! Crazy!) and have been a personal trainer for most of the summer. A few weeks ago I also passed my final exam and am now a certified SET (specialist in exercise therapy. Super duper crazy! I was so excited about this certification!)

Now since all of this has been happening, I’ve actually gotten a lot of questions about being a personal trainer and about the whole new realm of pressures that come with that job title. And I’m not going to lie, it was something that I really kinda started to see myself struggling with for a while. Not long after I began passing my exams and the credentials began stacking up behind my name, I started to get follows on my Instagram by fitness people, bikini competitors, etc… Not a lot mind you, my IG account is a personal account (if you want to follow me I’m @listenerintraining) but I was posting quite a bit in regards to fitness, yoga, and inspiration, and I started to get into the IG fitness world. I began to watch and follow several bodybuilding and bikini competition youtubers in my spare time and listen to several podcasts.

Is there anything wrong with that? Absolutely not! But what is a problem is the pressure I began to put on myself to look like a trainer, or what I thought a trainer should look like. I began to tell myself that I am my brand and that unless I looked a certain way I wouldn’t be successful. I knew that this would be something I struggled with considering my history, and something I wanted to nip in the bud and stop before it started. Additionally, I began to get inquiries from friends, family, and followers about how to get my body (mind, a body that I have achieved through DISORDER). The LAST thing I want to be is someone else’s thinspo or fitspo, or someone who puts up a front that I have my life all together.

I realized several truths very quickly that I think are important for anyone breaking into the fitness industry, especially women (I can’t speak for men as that is not something I personally have experienced. But I’m sure men have similar struggles.)

1. There is a TON of disorder in the industry! There are heaps of trainers and coaches with eating and exercise disorders who are preaching disordered methods. Just because a trainer says something and they have a few letters behind their name, doesn’t mean it’s fact. Always listen and think critically and do your own research!
2. Us fitness people are HUMAN. Many pictures you may see on Instagram have either been photo-shopped or are done with very specific lighting, camera equipment, and posing. Everyone has rolls when they sit down. Everyone has days when they eat pizza and donuts and THAT’S OK! It’s healthy even.
3. Everyone’s body is different. I will never look like the girl on Instagram who I perceive to have the perfect body because my body is built and shaped differently. And conversely, she will never look like me.
4. Health looks different on everybody! This kinda plays off number 3 a bit and the fact that we are all built and shaped differently. In it’s least disordered form, food and exercise are performed to achieve health and well being. They are tools to allow you to live your most full life, and that may look different on everybody!
5. While there are tons of trainers who are incredibly disordered and teaching bad science, there are also a lot who know what they’re talking about, understand the physical and psychological, truly want to help people, and really “get” the ins and outs of what they’re doing. And these people can be incredibly helpful and inspirational for the rest of us.

So keeping those truths in mind, I’m going to list below some of my favorite fitness people on social media who I follow, draw inspiration from, and view as real and non-disordered. These are just accounts that have helped me to see what is healthy and what to strive for as a trainer and in social media presence in the fitness industry. (Disclaimer: don’t follow any of these if you’re easily triggered.)

For example, ChelseaLifts on youtube and Instagram is an amazing power lifter that I have been following for the past few months. She has an extremely healthy relationship with food and exercise that she is very open and honest about and coaches women (and I think a few men too) on how to achieve their own healthy relationships with food and exercise.

ObeseToBeast (again youtube and IG) lost a ton of weight and is now a power lifter. On his channel he is very open about his eating disorder and journey in achieving a healthy relationship with food.

AmandaBucci on youtube, IG, and Snapchat is a bikini competitor (I know! Bear with me on this one!) Who is very open about the realities of competition prep and the mind traps you can get stuck in. She is honest about her struggles with bingeing and her journey as she competes. Huge disclaimer on this one, don’t watch if you’re easily triggered.

Emily Hayden (I think her Snapchat and IG tags are @ehfitness21) is another bikini competitor who did a youtube series earlier in the year called The Confident Woman. It was a daily devotional where she talked about God’s love and loving yourself and your body, especially in the fitness industry. Another trigger warning here!

And lastly MegSquats (youtube IG and Snapchat) is an amazing power lifter who shows how women can be strong and so incredibly confident in their bodies!

I hope some of this was helpful to you guys and you’ll keep it in mind while navigating fitness and social media!

Journaling How-To’s and Tips

It’s no secret that journaling can be a very lucrative way to start bringing mindfulness and intention to your life. We hear about it all the time from any mental health professional, article, or self help book. But the concept of journaling can be a very daunting thing, especially if you’ve never done it before. A lot of people have no idea where to start and it can sound like just something else on your to do list. “Soooo, do I start ‘dear diary’?” “How much do I have to write today?” “I’m not a good writer and don’t know what to journal about!” So I thought it might be helpful if I wrote a post to give you guys some ideas on where you can start and let you in a bit on what I do.

I, of course have this blog, and this can be a lot of the more traditional style of journaling. I of course don’t put all my deepest darkest secrets on the internet and have some level of privacy, but its the same concept. Talking about your day, your feelings, etc… What can really be helpful here is using writing prompts or journal prompts that you can find online to give yourself a bit of a boost. Often once you start writing, the rest just kinda happens. Getting started is the hard part.

Then there’s another kind of journaling that you guys often don’t see but that I think can be just as helpful, if not more so. Below I have a few example pages from my paper journal at home.

This journal I use for gratitude, goal setting, behavior tracking, mindfulness activities, etc… and I find that when I am consistent with it, its intensely helpful. For example, the first page is a goal page that I printed out and colored (because yay coloring!!!) before I began to lay out a plan for a recovery goal that I am going to try and stick to for the next month. The important thing to remember when making goals is what we in psychology call SMART goals, meaning the goal needs to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and have some kind of Time parameter. Then you can use your journal to track your behaviors and goals. I like to list action steps I will take to give myself some direction and affirmations to remind myself why I’m doing something and that I can achieve it when things get hard.

Gratitude journaling is also a method that is hugely backed by science and greatly encouraged in a branch of psychology called positive psychology. I have shown above an example of a gratitude I did when things were rough and I needed to remind myself of the good I had in life. It doesn’t have to just be a bulleted list if you don’t want it to be. Journaling can be as creative and abstract or as simple and straightforward as you want it to be.

One style of journaling I like to suggest for beginners is called a “bullet journal.” Bullet journaling is kinda a strange concept at the beginning so I’ll link some examples in the comments section to give you guys a visual of what its like, but its basically a grid style journal of charts, lists, pictures, etc… That help you keep track of whatever you want. A lot of people use them for calendars, to do lists, goal tracking, finding patterns between habits and emotions, food and exercise logs, the possibilities are really endless.

Like I said, I’ll link some of those examples down below. I hope this was helpful information for some of you! I know journaling is something I could absolutely not live without and has helped me so much through the years.

Today’s Affirmation

You may see me resting, but you won’t see me quit. You may see me recharge, but I will never stop giving. It’s ok to ask for what I need to keep myself moving. You walk until you can’t walk anymore, and then you begin to crawl, and when you’re too tired to crawl, you find a good friend to help carry you for a little while.

You may see me struggle, but I will never give up. I will take a moment, catch my breath, re-affirm myself to my goals, and then start all over again.

Because it’s ok to fight. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to get discouraged and frustrated and to do what you need to do to take care of yourself in this moment. As long as you go back to doing what needs to be done, it’s ok. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will my life be lived in a moment.

Consistency, tenacity, perseverance. Keep chipping away at it buttercup, it’ll happen.

The Reality of an Eating Disorder

How did I end up here in this suffocating mass of people? A salad in front of me and noise all around. My emotions rising high in my throat and threatening to burst forth in a cascade of tears. I bite them back in embarrassment. We had gone around the circle in my group this week and made goals that we were all going to hold each other accountable to. Mine was to go out and have a “real meal” at a restaurant.

So here I was, with the waitress worriedly asking if my meal was ok, a barely touched salad in front of me. I focused my eyes on the ball game on the TV and didn’t realize until my boyfriend took my hand worriedly into his that i had been playing my thumb against the steak knife, allowing it to shear against my skin, the pain somehow making it easier to maintain control in such a public and exposed space.

The guilt and shame of my stupidity overwhelmed me and I dug deep into my salad, forcing the bites down my tight throat until I thought I might choke.

“You…you don’t have to eat it all…that’s a lot of food…” the words and hand on my arm snapped me from my resolved inhalation of the meal in front of me. I felt suddenly embarrassed and unsure about the size of the meal.

“Do you think its too much?”

“.. That’s not what I said. Eat if you’re hungry. Are you hungry?”

“I…I don’t know…do you think its too much?” My hands scrambled for my phone so I could look up the calories. He snatched it away.

“You don’t need that. Its ok. Eat if you want to, but don’t feel like you have to eat the whole thing. It was a big salad.”

I was unsure of what to do. Anxiety welling up into my eyes. I took a deep breath. My hand played at the knife again. It felt as though all eyes were locked on me. “Do you need a box hon?” the waitress popped up out of nowhere. Panic and no words. The dissolved from my tongue as I scrambled for the “right answer”. The right thing to say to appear the most “normal”. Would someone bag up a few leaves of salad and chicken and take them home?

She knows. Everyone knows. He hates you. He just wants a girlfriend who isn’t a fuck-tard. You’re such a burden when you get like this. You’ve been such a shit for weeks and hes going to leave you. Oh shes looking at you funny. Quit acting weird! SAY SOMETHING!

“Ummmm thanks…no, ummmm, I’m ok. Its fine. The meal was very good.”

Concerned eyes all around. He took my hand and I squeezed his tight, grateful for the anchor as he walked out. A joke jumped from my lips followed by a smile, desperate to break the haze. The outside was so hot, so humid. It was a blanket suffocating me.

Another joke and smile and laugh. Chattering on about something inconsequential that I cant even remember.

But if I just let the drugs talk,

They have a different story to tell.

Because somehow I manage to

Make my life a living hell.

I get tired of this life I’m in,

And sometimes I don’t want to stay.

And then I need to sit right down

An just cry my heart away.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

I’ve been delaying posting to wait and see how a few things pan out, but I’m going to post a “life-events” update sometime in the next few days. In the meantime, something came up in one of my treatment appointments that I wanted to kinda hash out and process.

I was in my dietitian’s office and we were talking about how it’s been such a stressful week for me and how I was dealing with that. Eating since I got home from the trip hasn’t been going so well and I’m really in a pretty nasty binge/purge cycle. I weighed myself about halfway through the week, coming in at XXX.X. Well, I didn’t believe that number and decided to double check it with a different scale, which read XXY.Y. Of course, upon the different result, I had to triple check with yet another scale that ready XXZ.Q.

Well at this point I of course ROYALLY lost it and had a major freak out that I didn’t know which number was accurate. I consoled myself with the thought that when I got to my dietitian appointment she would surely have an accurate scale and I would know the correct number.

Fast-forward to my dietitian’s office. She looked at me, said she would weigh me if I wanted her to, but then asked me why the number was so important. No news here, this is the first question every eating disorder recovery specialist asks and one I’d heard a million times but never had an answer to. She stated that all scales were a little different and that there was no assurance that any one scale is “right” and that it’s more important to use the same scale consistently so that it shows fluctuations. I rolled my eyes and said that I knew all of that logically in my head, but I still wanted to know my exact weight. She asked why that was.

The first thing that popped into my head was a very honest and authentic, if kinda fucked up, sentiment that had never occurred to me before. “Weight is a standardized way to compare ones-self to others, and how can you have a standardized method if the testing is inaccurate?”

What? Wow? Could I really believe something so cold?

It’s embarrassing and hard to hear yourself verbalize but understanding the root of your cognition is part of the process in changing them to what is more right, true, and healthy. I needed to “hear” myself think that in my head and then recognize how utterly screwy it really is! So often when our hearts are hungry, we will eat whatever lies are there to fill us up. And the lies we tell ourselves are the most dangerous because we truly believe them! How do you catch yourself lying to yourself? Three years of therapy I guess.

Just another step in understanding and in the healing process.

Bailing Out

New original song is posted! Bailing Out – Youtube Link

Can I Come Into the Out Now?

I sometimes feel like living with an eating disorder can be explained by the movie Inside Out (for those of you who haven’t seen it, HERE’S A TRAILER to give you an idea of what it’s all about. You’ve got Joy living up in your head, and Sadness and Anger. I feel like my other emotions would be Fear and maybe Envy instead of Disgust. But then there’s also ED. And ED starts small, but then he grows and grows and takes up more and more and more of the control panel. And as he grows, he banishes the other emotions to the back of the room. Where they can’t be felt.

And soon, all there is is one ginormous ED in a whole room of black. He’s cut off contact with the islands of personality because those aren’t needed  anymore. He’s all you need.

And then as you recover, you are fighting to take control away from him and bring back the other characters and connect with those pieces of yourself you’ve neglected for so long. And it’s hard as fuck, but you fight him anyway. And it will probably take 10, maybe 20 years, but you fight him anyway, because he has your Joy, your Fear, your Sadness, your Anger caged in what has become a black pit. He has your personality and what makes you you banished to the abyss. And what choice do you have but to fight that. You could give in, but that would mean passively existing with ED behind the wheel and losing You forever.

And then sometimes, like this morning, Sadness or Anger break through. And you lay in bed and cry and FEEL. Truly feel. But you know what. As I lay in bed feeling this morning I thought to myself, I am not numb. I am not existing in ED’s sterile world. In this moment, I am alive. I have the capacity to feel and to cry. And for that, I am blessed.

Last night I had an opportunity to go with friends to a Christmas party. It was an “ugly sweater” party and we did cookie decorating and there was a photo booth. The woman who threw the party LOVED to cook and to bake and there was a huge array of snacks and finger food. A cake brilliantly decorated like an ugly Christmas sweater and a whole table for cookie decorating and a contest on who could decorate the best cookie (they were cut out in the shapes of sweaters). I walked in with my friends and at first was overcome by Fear. And then ED took over.

Ok. We’re wearing long black pants and a baggy tank and flannel top. We’re fat, we’ve gained a lot, but no one should notice. Keep the hair nice, don’t let it go flat or your face will look fat. Here, chew some gum, and whatever you do, DON’T TOUCH THE FOOD! Ok, decorate a cookie. Oh god, I got frosting on my hand. Omygod it’s touching me. Don’t freak out, wipe it off. Whew, ok we’re good. Oh, they want to do a photo booth? Ok, fix the hair. Stand sideways, don’t do a double chin. Does the smile look stupid? Relax your face! Relax it and the smile will look better. Oh its over? That was fast, I wasn’t ready. Ugh, I hope these don’t go on Facebook. Dear God don’t let them go on Facebook. You probably look fat and the smile definitely looked stupid.

But then, something clicked and I sat back down at the cookie decorating in a part of the house that wasn’t bustling with people and where I just had a few friends I was chatting with. I absent-mindedly decorated 2 or 3 more cookies and actually began to have fun. Is there a Creativity at the control panel? Well my brain has a Creativity, even though that’s not an emotion and she skipped in and I began to forget that people might be looking and just listen to the conversation and decorate my cookies. And then Joy came in and I began to laugh with my friends. And Sadness made an appearance when I saw that they were eating and that they were enjoying and that ED would not allow me to eat. But you know what, even Sadness being there began to crowd out ED and he was pushed to the side for the rest of the evening.

We went back downstairs and took some “awkward family photos” and I truly smiled and laughed this time. I didn’t think about what my smile looked like or about the camera. It was a real smile and real laughter.

When I got home, ED took back over and I weighed myself and binged. He punished me for the transgressions of the day…but you know what…it’s moments where he is not in control that are the moments worth fighting for. I often ask myself. Why am I doing this? I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle. He’s ALWAYS going to be there. Fighting him just makes it harder on myself. Why not just give in and let him take all of myself and my life?

But no. Even feeling Sadness, or Anger is a victory. Even feeling Sadness or Anger is a blessing.

I ate my routine ED approved breakfast today. Then I will likely go work out at the gym. I will drive home to Kansas City after an ED approved lunch and go on the Luminary Walk at the Overland Park Botanical Gardens and Arboretum, which is an ED approved evening activity. Somewhere in there I will do something or another to convince myself I’m in some kind of quasi-recovery. Some little act of defiance where I practice telling ED to fuck off. But I pray every day for those moments of color when I can see the shine of the moon and the stars through the darkness.

My Rambling Thoughts on the Way to the Post Office

I’m walking to the post office to pick up yet another package that will add to my wardrobe. I’m not a fashionista. I’m a tomboy. I don’t wear makeup or do my hair in any kind of fancy way other than stepping out of the shower and running a brush through it. I hate shopping.

And yet I’m redoing my wardrobe. I’m telling myself that it’s to buy professional clothes because soon I am graduating college and going into the workforce, and if there’s anything the last two summers of internship taught me, it’s that I don’t know SHIT about how to look dress-casual day after day at work. But I wonder sometimes if I’m just buying the cardigans and skirts to have an excuse to walk the .6 miles there and .6 miles back to and from the post office.

I’m excruciatingly picky when it comes to clothes and my style. And I have a very…different…? very ME look that you won’t find on Pinterest. I like Chucks and Keds, colorblock, chambry, sporty mixed with casual chic? Chambry is my new favorite as it is both professional, casual, and comfortable. Flannel is the bomb. I hate anything with sparkles, sequins, ruffles, lace, or frills. Green is my favorite color, and I’m not afraid to sport bright contrasting colors. I like it even. It makes me feel happy and upbeat.

But I’m still a 21 year old girl. I still stress about what people think about how I look and about my (now adult) acne and whether or not I’m committing a “fashion faux pas”, so I still send pictures of my outfits to my mom and sister to have them previewed and ok-ed. I still go onto Pinterest and look for professional hairstyle hacks for girls who don’t know shit about what they’re doing. (By the way, I found a tutorial on an awesome bun using Pinterest that I was able to master! And the best part is I can do it in 3 minutes and I don’t even have to take a shower and it looks totally legit!)

But I wonder as I’ve been stressing more and more about how I look if this is part of growing up, or just another outlet for my eating disorder. Another excuse to walk .6 miles to and from the post office. Another outlet of control over my body. I don’t know. I think as far as my face goes and my skin, I genuinely want people to think I have pretty skin. I genuinely want people to think I have pretty hair. I mean, who doesn’t? So why not put some effort into my skin and hair, that’s healthy, right?

It’s healthy to like bright colorblock and to fearlessly sport green Chucks to work in an outfit that somehow ties it all together, with pigtails and looking a weird combination of cute and professional so my boss doesn’t understand why it works, but she loves the green Chucks, because that is ME. Intro psychology buzzword: authentic-self.

My Scale

I was feeling very frustrated with the scale and the number on it yesterday. ED was being ridiculously loud all day and I was fighting hard to avoid the scale. Finally at night I gave in and wept when I saw the number. Its funny because it’s still below what my dietitian is comfortable with and lower than I’ve been for the past two years. However its higher than the past few months after the dip I made. Sorry for the confusing vagueness, but I don’t want to trigger anyone with numbers.

Anyway, i grew angry and took a sharpie to my scale, putting this message on it. “A number representing gravitational pull to the earth NOT strength, success, or worth.” I felt a little better after that and was able to eat my dinner and go to bed, with the help of a sleep aid and anti-anxiety.

It was cathartic I think. I might get some more sharpies that will show up on the black part and make an art project out of it. I’m not ready to throw my scale out or destroy it, but I CAN write messages and reminders to myself. I CAN fight those negative ED voices that just tell lies and inseminate with hatred. And then maybe someday, maybe soon, I’ll destroy my scale and never ever buy another one.

I think that’s why I don’t get rid of it. I’ve gotten rid of scales before, but I just end up buying more. I’ve spent hundreds of dollars on scales at this point from throwing away so many and then just breaking down and buying new ones. It’s kinda ridiculous. Maybe I’ll give it to my dietitian and she can keep it for me. Then if I want it I can always ask for it back and I wont have wasted money. I AM after all a poor college student!

But yeah, I think I’m going to make an art project out of it. It will be a good exercise.

Side note: as you all know I am without a therapist right now. I didn’t like the new woman I visited 2 weeks ago in Joplin as she has an extremely rigid and psychoanalytic approach. I think she also wasn’t prepared for my “interview questions” when I sort of grilled her on theories and methods and her own background. I felt a little bad for that one, but at the same time I need someone who can hold their own when I get fiery or spunky. The woman I liked in KC has a waiting list and isn’t taking new clients. I had an intake with a woman in Pittsburg, but she didn’t specialize in eating disorders and said she tends to shy away from patients with eating disorders because she isn’t comfortable treating them (hardest psychiatric illness to treat, high intelligence, highest mortality rate etc…) That was pretty frustrating. Wouldn’t you rather treat someone than leave them on their own? Anyway I suppose it’s for the best. I respect her for saying she doesn’t know what she’s doing in that area.

My dietitian gave me a name of a woman I might like in Westport, so I might check her out. I think I’ll also inquire at the Renew center where I first entered recovery and see who they have on staff right now. The woman who initially taught me Acceptance Commitment Therapy is in Florida, but they have a whole staff of counselors and an IOP program specifically for eating disorders.

Hope you’re all having a pleasant November!